digital silence

i won’t ask a question, i’ll state the truth

this is the way that it is

this is the way that it always will be

so. it’s almost summer break. i may look inactive, but i’m currently writing a countdown for the last week of school. that’s write baby (pun)

but you goblins need content now. so here’s your content.

it’s weird to think that school’s almost over. how many of you remember the first day? week? month? how many of you remember that test you aced? how about the one you failed? how many of you can say they know what happened this year?

in this day and age, how many of us have slowed down? it’s almost impossible with assignment after test after assignment. how many of us have taken time to engage in our passions? we don’t have money. don’t have cars, don’t have time.

until we do.

but when will that be? only a few of us have jobs. only a few of us have permits. and time’s coming like a freight truck.

but how about time? time moves on and on and on forever taking us from a certain past to the uncertain future.

the amount of possibilities every day should stagger the mind. the sheer number of things i could do at any moment is impossible. and i’m sitting here refreshing my inbox. we relive the same few days over and over. when did we forget our dreams? we act as if we get through today our dreams will come back tomorrow.

and no, i don’t have all the answers. i don’t know how to start seeing what could be. but i do know that watering down life’s experience, watering down every little idea and thought to fit the mold isn’t it.

let me pull you aside for a moment. take wrong turns. talk to strangers. open unmarked doors. you are curious, you are smart, you are bored. all you can see right now is a choice between slacking off and working hard. there are so many tiny interesting choices that we could all make and we can’t because we just want to get to tomorrow.

something tells me that you’re never gonna stop
until you get what you want

newsletter rss

you should PROTECT yourself

i have to write another one? really? christ.

i hold on to something strong ’cause i’m about to fall

leaning tower of pisa’s got nothing on me you know

hey remember the EARN IT act? how much of a problem that was? well it’s happening again. with the brand new PROTECT act (senate bill 686) the government isn’t just coming for tiktok, they’re coming for you.

Continue readingyou should PROTECT yourself

i’ve heard that song before

the lyrics said, “forever more”

and the moment you stop thinking,
you come into immediate contact with what Korzybski called,
so delightfully, ‘the unspeakable world.’

alan watts, 1967

it’s christmas. i don’t really know what to say except… wow. we made it another year. of course, we’re writing down more things for we didn’t start the fire v2.

but that’s not important right now. right now, we’re in the best part of the year. except for the blizzard coming up but that’s not important.

it’s interesting just what the end of the year means. logically, it means nothing. just another loop on our imaginary time system. another trip around the sun.

emotionally, it’s a reboot. a fresh start, new things to be had, new places to be seen, new memories to be made.

there’s others who can describe it better then me. i leave you with alan watts, a writer, speaker, and philosopher. you can hear and read the full talk here.

“But you know, if you talk all the time, you will never hear what anybody else has to say, and therefore, all you’ll have to talk about is your own conversation.

The same is true for people who think all the time. That means, when I use the word ‘think,’ talking to yourself, subvocal conversation, the constant chit-chat of symbols and images and talk and words inside your skull.

Now, if you do that all the time, you’ll find that you’ve nothing to think about except thinking, and just as you have to stop talking to hear what I have to say, you have to stop thinking to find out what life is about.

And the moment you stop thinking, you come into immediate contact with what Korzybski called, so delightfully, ‘the unspeakable world.’

The most ordinary sights and sounds and smells, the texture of shadows on the floor in front of you. All these things, without being named, and saying ‘that’s a shadow, that’s red, that’s brown, that’s somebody’s foot.’

When you don’t name things anymore, you start seeing them. Because say when a person says ‘I see a leaf,’ immediately, one thinks of a spearhead-shaped thing outlined in black and filled in with flat green. No leaf looks like that. No leaves–leaves are not green.

That’s why Lao-Tzu said ‘the five colors make a man blind, the five tones make a man deaf,’ because if you can only see five colors, you’re blind, and if you can only hear five tones in music, you’re deaf. You see, if you force sound into five tones, you force color into five colors, you’re blind and deaf.

The world of color is infinite, as is the world of sound. And it is only by stopping fixing conceptions on the world of color and the world of sound that you really begin to hear it and see it.

I am not talking about the ordering of ordinary everyday life in a reasonable and methodical way as being schoolteacherish, and saying ‘if you were NICE people, that’s what you would do.’ For heaven’s sake, don’t be nice people.

But the thing is, that unless you do have that basic framework of a certain kind of order, and a certain kind of discipline, the force of liberation will blow the world to pieces. It’s too strong a current for the wire.”

from all of us everywhere, merry christmas, happy hanukkah, and a happy new year. ■

newsletter rss

so maybe the lining of a winter’s coat

mightn’t be the best place to hide a summer secret

it’s been rough. i’ve started too many posts with that, but goddamn has it been rough.

and for each correctly used apostrophe

i could feel my heart sink inside my chest in front of me so

i don’t know how to say some of this anymore.

i can’t really think right now in this place

there’s too many colors, enough to drive all of us insane

it feels to me like time has been an illusion.

the needle on the spinning wheel

collecting silver coil

i can’t say, wholeheartedly, that i am the same person i was three years ago.

multi-colored ornaments in people’s houses make me feel like

i’m the only one out here, everybody feels like that dear

i don’t know if that’s a good thing.

i got boulders on my shoulders

collarbones begin to crack

it feels to me like everything’s on fire, and we can’t do anything about it except cook some popcorn over the flames.

i kinda feel like something is changing forever

i can’t be certain, but i think you know

i don’t want to get political. that only ends in fire and flames. but fire is an emotion, and it’s something more then apathy.

everything’s coming up roses

everything’s coming to a bitter, bitter end

do you even remember the past years? i don’t. in 6th we got a two week vacation which turned into a three month addition to summer break.

nobody knows everything

we know this to be true

7th was a masked blur.

being in this space has made me feel

a bit more small and i’m not quite sure where i’m going next

8th was quarantine season. i actually got quarantined, a week after the close contact. three days after they shut everything down for two weeks.

the roads are my home, the horizon my target

if i keep on moving, never lose sight of it

and now here we are. and i don’t remember my 13th.

so hug all your friends and let them know

you’re not letting go, no i won’t let go

i am currently writing this post in a haste in our shed. this is the real me, i suppose.

and when our eyes meet

all i can read

is “you’re the b-side”

there is no fitting end to this post. there never was, there never is, and there never will be. so i’m ending it however i like. and i like myself a good abrupt ending.

happy halloween, merry christmas, have a good easter. make some damn memories. make them better then mine.

and every sentence that i spoke

began and ended in ellipsis

newsletter rss