this chocolate means this is an advent post!
conveyer belt chocolate means you’re looking at an advent post

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA bored

~ become a guest writer ~
do you want to write something? do you want an audience of 10 people? cool.

email me at [email removed] with your post and any notes about it and i’ll probably post it! just keep it pg and keep politics mostly out of it. that one political post i did? had the least views on the site. thank you and good luck!

this chocolate means this is an advent post!
conveyer belt chocolate means you’re looking at an advent post

hello! it is i: content jesus here to bless you with content

i’m here to announce the results of the content competition:

LITERALLY NOTHING

not a single person sent me an email so i gotta do everything myself. pity.

anyways here’s some content from the dry well i call a brain


i love caffeine. it is a magic chemical, sent to us by god himself to make our brains function. there’s actually a really good audiobook about the history of caffeine that you can buy on audible for 12.9- oh here it is for free. whoops! sorry jeff, you aren’t getting any of my pennies today. anyways!

caffeine and coffee. two things that go hand in hand. coffee was actually the main boost of some revolutions. most water was unsafe to drink back then, so liquor was the safest option as it needed you to boil the water. the problem was liquor is a depressant: it slowed down your brain. coffee was the opposite, it was a stimulant. it shot up your productivity, kicked your brain into overdrive. you can imagine that would be if you’re trying to lead the american revolution. yeah. george washington drank a lotta coffee: the man imported 200 pounds into america for him and the higher-ups of the army.

of course, like the consumption of opium, we humans have decided to make more ways to get the magic energy chemical into us as fast as possible. like monster! ah yes, monster energy. 10 mg of caffeine per ounce you drank. i’ve never had it but i know people who have. it boosts you. a can is 2 cups of coffee with a lotta sugar. 57 grams of sugar to a can. will it kill you? probably not. will it move your death up the timetable? almost certainly.


well that was fun. i actually had no inspiration for this round so i just started typing and bang: 3 paragraphs. hope you had fun. remember i have a newsletter that has a sign up somewhere over the rainbow and a good RSS feed that works. i’ll see you all later i suppose. bye!

HAPPY HOLIDAY

welcome to my really crappy advent calendar! this isn’t a daily thing, it’s just a content incentive for myself.

your first gift of the season was on dec. 2nd

your second gift is this advent calendar so uh here’s some of that questionable chocolate you always find in any other advent!

mmm yes tastes like conveyor belt

i won’t be updating this calendar… maybe? just know that any post in december with that lil chocolate bit is an advent gift.